Thursday, June 21, 2007

The public bathroom

I have a problem. That is a little girl almost 3, and a son almost one. Of course they are so much fun and bring copious amounts of joy to my life, when it's just them and me things can get difficult. For example, Gwen is now potty trained. But that also means that when she says she needs to go, I've got to start looking for a bathroom pronto squanto! But picture this scenerio. In the grocery store, cart full of food and my two offspring, Gwen says she needs to go. We head to the bathroom where I have to get the kids and my purse out of the cart because I can't take a cart full of merchandise into the bathroom. So we head to the handicap stall so there's room for the three of us in there. No baby changing table in the stall, so I have to hold Drake (since he's not walking/standing) while I cover the toilet seat with scads of toilet paper so Gwen's little bum doesn't touch a public toilet, then gently set her on top of it so it doesn't fall in the toilet, wipe her and help her down, all one handed. Then while she's pulling up her pants, I realize I really need to go too. But I've done this before, I can totally hold Drake, hover and then re-dress myself one handed. But oh no, Gwen's DONE! Despite my instructions to keep the door shut, mommy's not dressed yet, Gwen's opening the stall door. Of course this is also the same time that all the women in the other stalls are now out buzzing around our stall. I quickly am trying to pull up my pants, balance my purse and Drake, and can't figure why my pants are not up yet. Of course, Drake's foot is in the way, keeping my pants down. Oh the humiliation. People have asked, "And none of the women out there helped you?". But I figure they thought it was better to pretend they didn't see, and pretend they didn't know what was going on. Oh they saw. They knew. But how do I change this sequence of events? Because guess what? It happened again, the very next day at Costco!

13 comments:

Layton Clan said...

Nooooo!!! That's so hilarious in a really empathetic way. Wow girl, that would be really hard. There needs to be some sort of bathroom play place. Wait, scratch that, the toilet seat is so nasty and germy, I bet a play place would be even nastier! Is there no rememdy?!?!

Layton Clan said...

Okay, so rememdy is not a word. Remedy, remedy... that's the word.

Jennifer said...

That is the best story I have ever read... and couldn't come at a better time. I am driving to Arizona this weekend with my kids by myself, and just last night I was telling Mike, "How am I going to go to the bathroom during the drive? Take all 3 kids in the stall and hold Mason while I go??" Now I know, that if Kristin can do it so gracefully, so can I... :) (And fortunately, Gordon isn't potty-trained yet so I don't have to deal with all of that quite yet.)

Jennifer said...

By the way, is Drake crawling yet? I am very jealous that you have such a late crawler!

Bowman Family said...

Kristin,
I just saw one of those baby holster things on the wall in a Walmart the other day. You strap the kid into a seat in the wall while you go. It looked dirty of course, but I thought it was a nice try. Too bad they haven't put them in other stores yet.

I had Rachel with me the other day at our neighborhood Walmart and she had to pee as soon as the cart was full and we were ready to check out. I took her to the bathroom and the regular ones were out of order. The "family" bathroom was occupied so we just sat and waited. I could hear the mom inside yelling at her three year old not to open the door. Her one year old was tearing apart toilet paper and running around screaming. They finally came out and I went it. There weren't any toilet covers so I did the toilet paper thing. As Rachel went to climb up I told her to put her hands on her tummy and not to touch anything! Well, she didn't listen and put her hands on the seat. I was ok with that because I knew I could scrub them clean. As I wiped her and took her off the seat moved and there was blood all over underneath. I freaked out! As you can imagine I washed every part of her that touched the seat!
I proceeded to walk out and tell the pharmacy tech to get someone in there PRONTO to clean it up. Then I sat in front of the door warning people not to enter!

I think I would rather have my kid pee on the floor and clean it up then take them in a bathroom like that again. It was disgusting!

Anyway, I don't know what to tell you other than - good luck!
Meg :-)

jennie said...

You crack me up, what a funny story!

Lindsey said...

I'm laughing out loud right now! Kristen, you have the best stories. I hope this problem gets solved quickly - for your sake!

McPhie Family said...

Jennifer, no, Drake isn't crawling yet, he's scooting! It's the cutest thing ever. I'll have to video it and post it because it's something everyone's gotta see! Good luck on your drive!!!!
Meg, agreed, it would be easier to just let the kids pee on the floor! You try it first and let me know how it works. ;)

Melissa said...

How fun to hear from you! You gotta love blogging! Your family is dang cute! How is everything? How in the world do you have TWO kids already? You are amazing! Do you ever hear from the girls? I miss them, give them my l0ve and keep the pics of your beautiful family coming...

DANNELS said...

That has got to be one of the funniest stories I have heard in a long time. Hilarious! You and your family are the cutest!!

DANNELS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bingham Family said...

This is hilarious... and I feel for you. We were at church and Haylee was opening the door while I was going, but I was not holding Addilyn. So this is my remedy for this situation. I keep a diaper that is Haylee's size in my purse and a plastic ziplock. If we are at a store or in the car and not near a bathroom, I put it on Haylee and she goes. YOu might be saying that that is a little gross, but I have her wear dresses and in about 2 seconds while she is standing, I can get the diaper on and then she goes. I leave it on her after she goes, until we get to the car, but lately I have only had Addilyn size diapers and so after she goes, I take it off and put it in the ziplock. This may seem nasty, but I believe that taking Addilyn, myself, and Haylee on a public bathroom trip is more nasty. So use this little tip if you want! It has saved me so many times from going into a public bathroom. You might be saying that this can cause set backs, but it has not in my case. Enjoy! Oh and don't forget to carry around the purrell!

ben and whitney shafer said...

oh my gosh, that is hilarious. well, at least you'll never see any of those people again... hopefully. :)